I'm officially experiencing blog withdrawal!! I've been wanting to write for days now, but have been so busy, I haven't been able to find a quiet moment to clear my head and let my thoughts ease onto paper (or keybroad). I'm hooked! I now NEED the blog experience for a bit of a release these days.
As I'm sure my lack of time reflects, I've officially re-entered the work world and all the time-sucking that comes with it. And guess what...I do miss her. A lot...
More on that later, and more importantly, more on Safi's first day of daycare, or "school" as I encouragingly call it!
25 January 2008
16 January 2008
The Angel-faced Aggressor
Does this look like the face of a bully?
Believe it, or not, this angelic face does not stop Safiyah from straight bum-rushing other children. Despite appearances, it has become abundantly clear that Safiyah is a bit of a bully
I have to admit, that I was quite surprised the first time I saw Safiyah snatch a toy from Salimah. Safi’s cousin Salimah, who is a mere four months her junior, is often the victim of her bullying. My sister, Salimah’s mother, joked that Salimah gets in a defense stance anytime Safiyah’s name is mentioned. Yikes!
With the most innocent of looks, Safiyah takes other children’s toys; snatches, and quickly throws their pacifiers; and gives “hugs” to the point of suffocation. On one occasion, I saw her literally mount another child, squealing in sheer delight, as she attempted to ride the little girl like a donkey! Quickly rushing to release the child from Safi’s grasp, I embarrassingly wore a shocked look on my face, to suggest that I was surprised by her behavior. Unfortunately, I’d seen it all before.
Like any parent, I have to wonder, where is this coming from? Is this truly aggression? Is she just overly excited to interact with other kids? Does she not know her own strength? Unfortunately, I haven’t figured out the answer. But what’s most amazing about Safi’s brutish ways is the complete look of surprise on her face when she’s reprimanded.
I continue to remind her to “be gentle”, “no snatching”, “no touching”, but how realistic is that for a 1 ½ year old? Safi’s even been introduced to the world of Time Out, which was surprisingly working well, until I saw that she was putting herself in Time Out. I gave her a snack the other day and she nicely walked over to the time out corner and sat down to eat.
Believe it, or not, this angelic face does not stop Safiyah from straight bum-rushing other children. Despite appearances, it has become abundantly clear that Safiyah is a bit of a bully
I have to admit, that I was quite surprised the first time I saw Safiyah snatch a toy from Salimah. Safi’s cousin Salimah, who is a mere four months her junior, is often the victim of her bullying. My sister, Salimah’s mother, joked that Salimah gets in a defense stance anytime Safiyah’s name is mentioned. Yikes!
With the most innocent of looks, Safiyah takes other children’s toys; snatches, and quickly throws their pacifiers; and gives “hugs” to the point of suffocation. On one occasion, I saw her literally mount another child, squealing in sheer delight, as she attempted to ride the little girl like a donkey! Quickly rushing to release the child from Safi’s grasp, I embarrassingly wore a shocked look on my face, to suggest that I was surprised by her behavior. Unfortunately, I’d seen it all before.
Like any parent, I have to wonder, where is this coming from? Is this truly aggression? Is she just overly excited to interact with other kids? Does she not know her own strength? Unfortunately, I haven’t figured out the answer. But what’s most amazing about Safi’s brutish ways is the complete look of surprise on her face when she’s reprimanded.
I continue to remind her to “be gentle”, “no snatching”, “no touching”, but how realistic is that for a 1 ½ year old? Safi’s even been introduced to the world of Time Out, which was surprisingly working well, until I saw that she was putting herself in Time Out. I gave her a snack the other day and she nicely walked over to the time out corner and sat down to eat.
So much for that.
As offensive and embarrassing as Safi’s behavior may be, I have to accept that she is a growing toddler who is exploring, learning and testing limits. I remember how annoying it was when Safiyah was obsessed with dropping her cup from the table, just to hear the sound it made as it hit the floor. In this new annoying stage, Safi is learning how to interact with others. Unfortunately, in this battle, there are some minor casualties.
I hope this is one of the many phases that everyone promises me that Safiyah will outgrow. In the meantime, I know Salimah for one, is bracing herself for the impact.
As offensive and embarrassing as Safi’s behavior may be, I have to accept that she is a growing toddler who is exploring, learning and testing limits. I remember how annoying it was when Safiyah was obsessed with dropping her cup from the table, just to hear the sound it made as it hit the floor. In this new annoying stage, Safi is learning how to interact with others. Unfortunately, in this battle, there are some minor casualties.
I hope this is one of the many phases that everyone promises me that Safiyah will outgrow. In the meantime, I know Salimah for one, is bracing herself for the impact.
Why I Blog
I was ecstatic to receive my first non-family or friend comment on the blog the other day!! Thanks Gustav! It’s so nice to imagine that there is an actual audience on the other end of my laptop musings about life. I felt an extreme amount of gratification at the thought that “strangers” may read my blog. Which made me ask myself just "Why do I Blog?"
I recently had this discussion with my mother. She couldn’t understand why anyone would be interested in the life of someone they don’t know. I, on the other hand, religiously read the blogs of strangers, anxiously awaiting the next post. Why? Is it is the idea of being a voyeur into someone else’s life – looking in their window as their family eats at the dinner table? Or is it as basic as reading for enjoyment, just as you would read a non-fiction book?
Why I blog it actually pretty simple – I love writing. My mother, pointed out that I actually write for a living as a lawyer. But practicing law has shown me that I’d much rather write about life than legal arguments and motions. Blogging allows me to fulfill my desire to write, along with the fantasy of actually having an audience. So, here are the three main reasons why I blog:
1. To keep family and friends up to date on what’s new in Safiyah’s world.
When I was in New York and my family was here in Indianapolis, I struggled with different ways to include them in Safiyah’s growth, which seemed to be happening so fast. Then, I did it with pictures. Now, I’m doing it with words. . . and occasionally a few pictures. For all my amazing friends on the east coast, who became Safiyah’s aunties, I don’t want them to miss a thing.
2. To improve my writing.
I have always loved writing. Should I ever have the opportunity to pursue it as a career, rather than just a hobby, I’d like to have put in some good practice.
3. And yes, I’d LOVE to have a fan following…who wouldn’t?
Perhaps one day this will be someone’s favorite blog that they just have to check in on everyday!! But for now, I’m content with the blog serving as a family and friend update center - and of course I welcome the friends out there that I haven't yet met, but who remind me that this world is a lot smaller than it may seem.
I recently had this discussion with my mother. She couldn’t understand why anyone would be interested in the life of someone they don’t know. I, on the other hand, religiously read the blogs of strangers, anxiously awaiting the next post. Why? Is it is the idea of being a voyeur into someone else’s life – looking in their window as their family eats at the dinner table? Or is it as basic as reading for enjoyment, just as you would read a non-fiction book?
Why I blog it actually pretty simple – I love writing. My mother, pointed out that I actually write for a living as a lawyer. But practicing law has shown me that I’d much rather write about life than legal arguments and motions. Blogging allows me to fulfill my desire to write, along with the fantasy of actually having an audience. So, here are the three main reasons why I blog:
1. To keep family and friends up to date on what’s new in Safiyah’s world.
When I was in New York and my family was here in Indianapolis, I struggled with different ways to include them in Safiyah’s growth, which seemed to be happening so fast. Then, I did it with pictures. Now, I’m doing it with words. . . and occasionally a few pictures. For all my amazing friends on the east coast, who became Safiyah’s aunties, I don’t want them to miss a thing.
2. To improve my writing.
I have always loved writing. Should I ever have the opportunity to pursue it as a career, rather than just a hobby, I’d like to have put in some good practice.
3. And yes, I’d LOVE to have a fan following…who wouldn’t?
Perhaps one day this will be someone’s favorite blog that they just have to check in on everyday!! But for now, I’m content with the blog serving as a family and friend update center - and of course I welcome the friends out there that I haven't yet met, but who remind me that this world is a lot smaller than it may seem.
07 January 2008
The Mommy Wars Within
Women have been debating the choice to work inside, or outside the home, since Women’s Lib. I never sat squarely on either side of the debate. There’s clearly no one-size-fits-all solution for how to mother your children. For some women, staying home and raising their children is an essential element of being a mother. For other women, the thought of staying home and foregoing their career life is unthinkable.
Although I spent a good deal of time and money pursuing my legal education and three years practicing law, I have to admit that I’ve never been exceptionally career driven. So where do I fall in the great debate of baby vs. career? I don’t feel like my life would be any less valuable if I took a hiatus from lawyer-life. On the other hand, I don’t know if I quite have what it takes to successfully tackle the most challenging job of being a stay-at-home-mom.
When we moved to Indianapolis, I welcomed the opportunity to be at home with Safiyah, while taking the time to find the right career fit for me. After all, I felt like I missed so much time with Safiyah in New York. Practicing law at a defense firm with the dreaded billable hour ever stalking me, I felt that I saw Safi wake up in the morning and go to bed in the evening, but missed all the valuable time in between. I was so excited to catch up on all the time I felt that I was missing with my baby. I looked forward to taking her to the library, park and museum -- all during the daytime! Of course, I fantasized what my newfound freedom would allow.
And what a time we’ve had!!! We’ve had many play dates with cousin Salimah, as my sister has been on vacation. We’ve been to the new Indianapolis Library, which is amazing! Check it out here: http://www.imcpl.org/central/index.html. There is a fabulous baby-zone, called the learning curve, where babies are free to explore the books, play theatre and participate in story time.
We also explored the world-renowned Indianapolis Children’s Museum (www.childrensmuseum.org/)!!! Seeing Safiyah’s eyes light up at each new play station reminded me of the infinite joy I experienced going to that same museum throughout my own childhood. I love being a mom who is completely available to her child. I love seeing the new things Safi does with each new day.
But after a month at home with Safiyah, reality has set in. I love being with her, but I realize that I also want to miss her too. Working allowed me to miss her. Working also allowed me to fulfill a part of myself that is independent of being Safiyah’s mother.
So for me, it’s not baby versus career, it’s baby versus me – my independent self. My work life represents my identity separate and apart from motherhood. And I think I am ready to return to work to balance these two identities.
Like every mother in the world, I am hoping to find that ever elusive sense of balance, somewhere between the sea of motherhood and the simplicity of just being me.
Although I spent a good deal of time and money pursuing my legal education and three years practicing law, I have to admit that I’ve never been exceptionally career driven. So where do I fall in the great debate of baby vs. career? I don’t feel like my life would be any less valuable if I took a hiatus from lawyer-life. On the other hand, I don’t know if I quite have what it takes to successfully tackle the most challenging job of being a stay-at-home-mom.
When we moved to Indianapolis, I welcomed the opportunity to be at home with Safiyah, while taking the time to find the right career fit for me. After all, I felt like I missed so much time with Safiyah in New York. Practicing law at a defense firm with the dreaded billable hour ever stalking me, I felt that I saw Safi wake up in the morning and go to bed in the evening, but missed all the valuable time in between. I was so excited to catch up on all the time I felt that I was missing with my baby. I looked forward to taking her to the library, park and museum -- all during the daytime! Of course, I fantasized what my newfound freedom would allow.
And what a time we’ve had!!! We’ve had many play dates with cousin Salimah, as my sister has been on vacation. We’ve been to the new Indianapolis Library, which is amazing! Check it out here: http://www.imcpl.org/central/index.html. There is a fabulous baby-zone, called the learning curve, where babies are free to explore the books, play theatre and participate in story time.
We also explored the world-renowned Indianapolis Children’s Museum (www.childrensmuseum.org/)!!! Seeing Safiyah’s eyes light up at each new play station reminded me of the infinite joy I experienced going to that same museum throughout my own childhood. I love being a mom who is completely available to her child. I love seeing the new things Safi does with each new day. 
But after a month at home with Safiyah, reality has set in. I love being with her, but I realize that I also want to miss her too. Working allowed me to miss her. Working also allowed me to fulfill a part of myself that is independent of being Safiyah’s mother.So for me, it’s not baby versus career, it’s baby versus me – my independent self. My work life represents my identity separate and apart from motherhood. And I think I am ready to return to work to balance these two identities.
Like every mother in the world, I am hoping to find that ever elusive sense of balance, somewhere between the sea of motherhood and the simplicity of just being me.
02 January 2008
Little Miss Manners
Guess who’s now saying PUH-LEEEEZEEE!Safiyah is starting 2008 right by showcasing her use of manners. And I have to admit I’m quite proud. I don’t think there’s anything cuter than a little person with good manners.
I was so excited when one of the first words Safiyah said in context was “tank uuu”.
I’ve been working on please ever since, but without much success – until yesterday at bath time.
Safiyah LOVES WATER. Drinking it. . .playing in it. . .and combining the two by drinking water in the bath. It’s a disgusting habit that I strongly discourage of course, but Safi spends the entire bath time sneaking the ducky cup to her little lips.
After repeatedly reminding Safi of how GROSS it is to drink the very water she’s bathing in, I finally had to take the ducky cup away from her. And that’s when she said it.
After repeatedly reminding Safi of how GROSS it is to drink the very water she’s bathing in, I finally had to take the ducky cup away from her. And that’s when she said it.
PUH-LEEEEEZEEE!! 
Well, then I just had to give it to her, right?
Well, then I just had to give it to her, right? I’m willing to sacrifice a few germs for the sake of good manners.
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